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PERSONAL BLOG
As someone who has chosen the most boring means of artistic expression - WORDS - I'm trying to make text more interesting. You can click around and read about the good, the bad, and the ugly life I am living in Berlin. Not that it is particularly interesting, but who knows, maybe you've been scrolling TikTok for hours, and need a new way to procrastinate.
*For people I want to work for: This is not true, my life is totally interesting and writing is a very valid craft, I am just trying to appeal to my audience. I also would never watch TikToks for hours or procrastinate.
Pee 4 free. Pissing is a human right.
Men basically piss all over. Women* often have to pay a price. Hence, I appreciate hospitality staff who actively take a stand against the pee pink tax, and find those who don't, irritating.
HAPPY CUNTS
Here I could pee 4 free.
BUTTHOLES
Here I had to pay to pee.
CLOSE
Bier Bar
Kopernikusstraße 9, 10245 Berlin
July 3, 2024
Nice and piss freindly place.
backbord
Gneisenaustraße 80, 10961 Berlin
May 10, 2024
The owner is a massive dick and looks as if hes gonna die from liver failure any second. Don’t ever go there unless you wanna be in a shitty mood.
Bike racks at Anhalter Bahnhof (Askanischer Platz)
Stresemannstraße, 10963 Berlin
April 14, 2024
I am slipping.
I stole your joy, and you stole my brain.
When I say things I can hear you talking, when I shut up I don’t feel my heartbeats me – I am better.
So how can I get better?
I learned why people say life’s complicated when I forgot to think.
I don’t know right from wrong, I don’t remember feeling inspired, and I have never been so happy.
I have never been so bored.
Torte
Brusendorfer Str. 12, 12055 Berlin
April 13, 2024
Free toilets, vibes only.
Press & Books Gesundbrunnen
Badstraße 1-3, 13357 Berlin
March 29, 2024
The only thing worse than capitalism is capitalists pretending to be feminists.
EfsaneSimit Berlin
Erkstraße 14, 12043 Berlin
December 11, 2023
Not a pee friendly place. I am disappointed. So much tasty food I cannot eat anymore 🙁
Deutsche Bundesbank
Leibnizstraße 10, 10625 Berlin
December 4, 2023
Another big problem with capitalism: Money is boring.
To everyone who thinks money isn’t just necessary but interesting: Why? Why do you feel so smart when everything you say is so unbelievably boring?
Nothing is more boring than listening to people who talk about how they make money. Please don’t ever talk to me about Bitcoin! It’s just so fucking lame.
Let’s talk about the wind, the ocean and the beach.
IL PIZZAIOLO
Schlesische Str. 28, 10997 Berlin
November 29, 2023
Nice pizza and free toilets.
Mozzarella & Pomodoro
Torstraße 97, 10119 Berlin
November 22, 2023
Super sad to label this place as a butthole location because the food is absolutely delicious, and the staff was super, super nice. Unfortunately, they act as if their toilet is “brocken”, so passers-by don’t use it.
Sotto
Neue Hochstraße 25, 13347 Berlin
November 11, 2023
Very nice pizza and free toilets.
Schillingbar
Weserstr. 9, 12047 Berlin
November 3, 2023
Not piss friendly.
Fixpunkt
Karl-Marx-Straße 202, 12055 Berlin
October 29, 2023
A friend who works in harm reduction told me that apparently the first death in Berlin happened this week because coke is now also being laced with fentanyl in Germany. We’re living in the age of shitty drugs and it’s because of capitalism. We need access to clean drugs and we need spaces where people can take them. We need to stop beating each other up, most people do their best most of the time. We need less hyper-individualism and more solidarity and we need more first hand accounts of the experiences of women and marginalised groups when it comes to drugs.
Techno, what’s next?
October 23, 2023
Every city has its time and sound. Paris must have been cool in the 30s, when Billie Holiday and Simone de Beauvoir were living Jazz. London was cool in the 70s when Vivienne Westwood dressed The Clash. Berlin was cool in the 90s when suddenly everyone could produce music and elitism was thrown out of the window. Now the clubs that gave birth to techno are fossils in ARTE’s archives. More than 20 years have passed, and I wonder: What city is the next place to be, and what’s the sound of the future?
Embassy of Israel
Auguste-Viktoria-Straße 74-76, 14193 Berlin
October 17, 2023
Stop bombing civilians.
Ryanair
Melli-Beese-Ring, 12529 Schönefeld
October 8, 2023
Fuck Ryanair. Easy Jet 4 life. It pains me to be on the British side of any argument. I’m sorry. Tiocfaidh ár lá.
Tadim
Adalbertstraße 98, 10999 Berlin
September 29, 2023
Two friends of mine and I could pee here for free on a busy Friday night.
Admiralbrücke
Admiralstraße, 10967 Berlin
September 9, 2023
Ever since I moved to Berlin, I haven’t felt lonely. I feel like, most people are nice and for the first time in my life I don’t have to look for my community in hidden places, I just have to go outside. Hostile architecture is trending in many cities. In New York railings have spikes so no one can sit on them, little gray boxes that buzz to make young people’s ears pop are produced by old Walsh men and shipped to lively places across Europe. Homeless people are being chased away everywhere, and third spaces are becoming exceedingly rare. There is a new bench at Admiralbrücke. It lights up red if the people sitting on it are “too loud”. But this attempt is useless in Berlin. The streets here are our streets. Not even cops want to clear the bridge and no matter how many times we are shooed away, we will always come back.
I feel that all people are welcome here, the only rule is not to be an asshole. If anyone doesn’t want to live here, or at another busy (noisy?) corner any more, please feel free to contact me. A few friends of mine are currently looking for a flat. I’m sure we can find a solution.
MediaMarkt Gesundbrunnen
Pankstraße 32-39, 13357 Berlin
August 24, 2023
Middle aged men who work in electronic stores are more annoying than average.
Banja Luka
Falckensteinstraße 1-2, 10997 Berlin
August 14, 2023
They charge for tab water…. sad. Could be nice here.
Neue Republik Reger
Bouchéstraße 79A, 12435 Berlin
June 20, 2023
Free toilets. The burgers look super tasty and are vegan.
BVG Kundenzentrum ALEX
U-Bahnhof Alexanderplatz, 10178 Berlin
Today, BVG staff made an unemployed woman cry next to me. Tomorrow the whole world burns, because shitty organisations don’t realise that nobody profits from profits.
Mahalla Berlin
Wilhelminenhofstraße 76, 12459 Berlin
June 11, 2023
The first few months of an emerging cult must be awesome.
JAJA
Weichselstraße 7, 12043 Berlin
May 2, 2023
Peed 4 free at JAJA Wine Bar. Also, I like that we almost share a name.
Schankwirtschaft Laidak
Boddinstraße 42/43, 12053 Berlin
February 14, 2023
I like to write here. But Laidak is also a good place to simply exist.
PETER PANE Burgergrill & Bar
Friedrichstraße 101, 10117 Berlin
October 25, 2022
I was charged to pee.
Rotbart
Böhmische Str. 43, 12055 Berlin
October 4, 2022
I could pee for free at Rotbart.
Sora – Café & Wohnaccessoires
Sorauer Str. 6, 10997 Berlin
September 25, 2022
It is free to pee here.
Knödelwirtschaft SÜD
Fuldastraße 33, 12045 Berlin
September 23, 2022
I could pee 4 free.
Freiluftkino Hasenheide
Hasenheide, 10967 Berlin
September 22, 2022
When I moved to Berlin in Spring, I started working at this open-air cinema. My absolute favourite part-time job ever was at the front desk of Schauspielhaus in Vienna. I also really love films, so at first, I was delighted to get a summer job here. Unfortunately, the people who run this “cultural institution” are huge assholes in my opinion. I can’t think of another word or phrase descriptive of my contempt for them. It’s not like I want to despise anyone and I don’t think that despising other people or anything really is constructive, but I don’t know what I should feel for these “should-be-humans”. They are not only part of society and therefore influence the way we live like everyone else, they are also employers and work in the creative industries.
When people who work in creative professions use their platform to spread discriminatory and fascist ideas, it hurts me more than when people do it who I expect it from. That’s not fair, but it’s also not fair that fascists are allowed to create culture.
It’s probably naive to expect people who work in creative jobs to behave in a less discriminatory way than the rest of the population in a city like Berlin. Most artists I’ve met here are poverty-playing in Balenciaga sneakers, stepping through clubs that often don’t welcome anyone who can’t afford to look homeless the right way.
Art conveys emotions rather than “rational” thought and that is why fascist art is perhaps even more dangerous than right-wing propaganda. Most people (though many according to election polls) do not want fascism back, but we all know what it feels like to be angry or sad. I I can rationally explain that it makes no sense to blame a person or group of people for my negative emotions, that the idea of guilt is itself religious propaganda, and that there are only structural solutions to social problems. But art does not explain, art is.
A person who considered themselves my supervisor at this cinema drew the picture attached. It hung inside the box office. I asked them what it was supposed to represent and their response was to laugh almost hysterically and say “fat kids pay triple!”
CRAZY BASTARD KITCHEN
Weserstr. 168, 12045 Berlin
September 20, 2022
Initially, I wanted to create a Berlin-wide hospitality pee map and give places the option to participate in the project. So I contacted a few establishments. Jonathan O Reilly, who apparently works here, answered in a nutshell: We do let people pee for free, but we don’t like junkies, so sometimes it makes sense to charge them.
I don’t know what kind of junkies Jonathan knows… Personally, no one ever told me that they like to do drugs at random restaurant bathrooms without already being at the restaurant for some reason. However, Jonathan wasn’t referring to gentrified Berlin party junkies. In his reply he said, “people who struggle with heroin addiction, leave traces on my toilet, particularly in the winter months.” I call bullshit. Jonathans toilet would be the last place I would wanna shoot up on Turkey, but you can decide for yourself if you believe him or not.
My spin on this place: The name says it all.
Zum Bömischen Dorf
Sanderstraße 11, 12047 Berlin
August 23, 2022
I peed here 4 free.
Tante Lisbeth
Muskauer Str. 49, 10997 Berlin
August 18, 2022
Cool place. Free to piss.
Akcan Döner
Hochstraße 46, 13357 Berlin
June 3, 2022
The guy who runs this kebab shop did let me piss for free. He also waved the toilet key in my face like a creepy uncle and pulled it away three times before he handed it over.
CLOSE
Tarot3000
Tarot meets Berlin’s dance floors and underground rave culture, the holy trinity of our world: Love, drugs and the unbreakable bonds of friendship that emerge amidst the chaos of our lives. Each card becomes a portal to your journey of self-discovery, unveiling truths buried beneath layers of smoke, sweat, and pounding basslines.
Our set is for everyone who shares their lives in this city or wants to live techno spirit. So, are you ready to shuffle your cards and dive deep into the wisdom that lies in rave culture? Get a deck and feel the heart of Berlin igniting flames of revolution and rebirth.
tarot300.de
Narcosis
roman in progress
Tiefer Rausch Narcosis
No one dies in Underwater. It’s either night or day, but never dawn. The people who live here change their faces and don’t have jobs, they have vocations. Without a calling, they lose all autonomy and become remote-controlled shells. Underwater’s parties make the ocean sparkle and everyone floats endlessly in time.
Jacob grew up in Underwater, Lana in Berlin. Together they move back to Jacob’s hometown, where they become estranged. Narcosis is a novel about distance, loss, time, and acceptance – about the fact that life lasts a short eternity.
First Page
Layla ist aufgeregt. Es ist nur wenige Stunden her, dass sie nach Unterwasser gezogen ist. Sie hat sich vorher informiert, hat Bücher gelesen, Filme gesehen, Podcasts gehört, Blogs durchbrowsed, die Geschichte der Kolonialisierung studiert und sich in Ozeanische Musik, Malerei und Erzählungen vertieft. Sie ist schon viel gereist und weiß, dass die Idee eines Ortes dessen Realität oft übertrifft, doch das ist diesmal anders. Seit ihrer Ankunft ist keine Sekunde vergangen in der sie sich gelangweilt hat.
Mit jeder Bewegung und jedem Atemzug erlebt sie eine neue Welt. Langsam watet sie durch das lauwarme Wasser, das eigentlich eiskalt sein sollte. Die Schwerelosigkeit webt ein seltsames Gewicht in ihre Bewegungen, ein federndes Spiel zwischen Leichtigkeit und Last. Sie hält die Hand vor den Mund und atmet aus. Es fühlt sich nicht anders an als zu Hause, der selbe Atem, aber ohne Luft.
Jacob spaziert neben ihr. Er ist in Unterwasser aufgewachsen und freut sich wahnsinnig darüber endlich wieder hier zu sein. Vor vier Jahren hat er beschlossen, dass seine Weltanschauung beschränkt ist und ist, ohne zu überlegen, von einem Tag auf den anderen, nach Berlin gezogen. Ein paar Wochen später hatte er seinen Schritt bereut und wollte zurück, aber sein tiefsitzender Glaube daran, keine Ahnung von der Welt zu haben, hat ihn abgehalten.
Alles ist scheiße am Festland. Menschen werden für geleistete Arbeit nicht bezahlt, Kunst ist Mittel zum Zweck und ich bin noch nicht einer einzigen Person begegnet, die mir eine Frage gestellt und Interesse an meiner Antwort gehabt hätte.
Hatte er Layla währen ihrem ersten Streit ins Geschieht geschrien und dabei ein wütendes Omelett zubereitet. Er hat ihr den Teller vor die Nase geknallt und
probier jetzt!
geschrien und sie musste lachen. Sie hätte wütende Omeletts nicht für möglich gehalten. Sie hätte Jacob nicht für möglich gehalten. Obwohl es gut geschmeckt hat, war sie nach einem Bissen randvoll. Sie hat:
„Krass! Wusste nicht, dass man wütend auch schmecken kann.“
gesagt und beide mussten lachen. Er hat sie auf die Wange geküsst, sie ihn auf den Mund und sie wussten, dass sie einander sogar beim streiten gerne zuhören.
Nov 25 – International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women
podcast 25.11.2021
For the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, I had the pleasure of writing a short contribution for Superfly.fm and recording it together with my friend and very talented designer Leonie Brecka.
Shit.
theaterstück / play
Sometimes everything works out and sometimes nothing does. When things go well, we like to attribute our success to ourselves. When things are not going well, we like to blame structural problems.
For Jeanne, life is just not great right now. For Matheo things are looking up. Existentialism clashes with the Law of Attraction, anger with self care, hate with fun, friendship, love and the moment remain.
First Page
(Jeanne verprügelt Levi mit seiner E-Gitarre in einer kleinen unordentlichen Altbauwohnung mit hohen Decken und einem großen Fenster, durch das hektische Neonlichter und Straßengeräusche in den Raum dringen und ihn durchfluten. Über dem Fenster ist eine beleuchtete Plattform. Levi und Jeanne jagen einander durch das Zimmer und schreien sich gegenseitig an. Kleidung, Bücher und einzelne Zettel liegen auf dem Boden verstreut. Ein unaufgeräumter Schreibtisch auf dem ein Computer, ein Keyboard und ein Mikrophon stehen, ist auffällig positioniert. Eine Akustische Gitarre lehnt neben einem kleinen Kühlschrank an der Wand. Auf der anderen Seite des Zimmers steht ein Sofa. Levi stolpert. Jeanne lässt die Gitarre auf den Boden fallen und beginnt ihn zu treten.)
Levi: Jeanne, du tust mir weh!
Jeanne (schreit): Ja, ja. Boo fucking hoo. Armer Levi. Böse Jeanne, die seinem armen, armen precious fucking Körper wehtut.
(Wir hören einen Autounfall.)
Jeanne (schreit):Fick dich.
Levi: Du spinnst.
Jeanne: Fick dich.
Levi: Du bist vollkommen übergeschnappt.
Jeanne: Fick dich.
(Sie hört auf ihn zu treten.)
Levi: Eine Verrückte.
Jeanne: Stirb.
Nica’s Sounds
kinder buch / childrens book
A story for children who love music and being unapologetic about who they are.
Nica is 7 years old and has just started second grade. She thinks it’s silly when people ask her “what do you want to be when you grow up?” because she is someone, not something, and who she is is not a job.
Nica’s Sounds is an interdisciplinary project. We are still looking for cool illustrators and sound designers.
HOME
tv pilot
How long does it take to make a new friend and how much do we care about the loss of people we only know briefly?
Julia takes her mother’s cremated remains to Cefalù to scatter them in the only place she knows her mom felt free. The cobbled alleys remind her of the endless summers she spent here as a kid. She meets new friends, has a holiday affair, and kills herself 24 hours after arriving.
HOME is a 60-minute TV show about the impact a casual acquaintance’s death has on a group of young expatriates living in Cefalù.
First Page
FADE IN:
EXT. AIRPORT – DAY
distant noise from PLANES.
JULIA (early 20s) is standing in front of an airport. She is wearing a BLACK SUNDRESS, black leather boots and a black sports bag is hanging off her shoulder. Her hair is braided into two braids and she gives off strong Gen-Z-Berlin vibes, in total contrast to the breezy, coastal, Southern European scenery around her. She is smoking a CIGARETTE and holding an URN, like a baby, with one arm. A battered guitar case is leaning against her.
There is a row of CABS parked in front of her. The sun is shining, people are wearing loose and light clothes that move with the blowing wind around differently shaped bodies. Everything around Julia is pastel coloured. Glass doors slide open and shut behind her as a few people with bags and trolleys walk in and out but the general atmosphere is very stress free and a clear indicator that the airport is small and rural.
We can see her face glaring through sweat and messy smudged eye makeup.
She takes a drag of her cigarette, as she looks at the urn carefully, and starts speaking to it.
JULIA (annoyed)
Cefalù. Und nun?
She throws away the CIGARETTE.
Wollen wir los?
She starts walking forward, painfully slow, and opens the boot of the closest cab, puts the guitar and the sports bag into the boot, slams it shut, walks, seemingly even slower to the back door, opens it and gets in.
The driver is in his forties and RELATIVELY good looking. He is smartish dressed but none of his clothes really fit. His SHIRT is too tight, he has too much product in his hair, he is wearing mens jewelry and a polished golden WEDDING RING.
He turns his head and looks at Julia for a moment, almost long enough to make for an uncomfortable situation. Julia looks back and raises one eyebrow. The driver looks down at the urn. Julia shakes her head, fastens her seatbelt and looks out of the window.
JULIA
I would like to go to Cefalù.
Where is youth culture heading?
podcast 22.12.2021
In December 2021, I had the privilege of researching and hosting a four-part podcast series for superfly.fm. The fourth part is about where youth culture is heading.
What is youth culture right now?
podcast 20.12.2021
In December 2021, I had the privilege of researching and hosting a four-part podcast series for superfly.fm. Part three is about current youth culture.
What was youth culture?
podcast 13.12.2021
In December 2021, I had the privilege of researching and hosting a four-part podcast series for superfly.fm. The second part is about youth cultures form the past.
What is youth culture?
podcast 01.12.2021
In December 2021, I had the privilege of researching and hosting a four-part podcast series for superfly.fm. The first part is about what youth culture is in general.
Tarot3000
Narcosis
Nov 25 – International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women
Shit.
Nica’s Sounds
HOME
Where is youth culture heading?
What is youth culture right now?
What was youth culture?
What is youth culture?
Yara is a writer and conceptual artist based in Berlin. She has lived in various countries and has wanted to exchange her Austrian passport for a world citizenship for as long as she can remember. As a socialist feminist, she critically and intersectionally addresses structural problems with her work, while trying not to be cynical, because she believes that self-righteous rhetoric doesn't encourage social progress. The accessibility of her writing is important to her and she likes to use simple language, because snobbery and the narrative "general education=intelligence=better" is a form of discrimination too. Currently she is working as a freelance writer, in art communications and on her first novel.
I am offering a 25,-- flat rate for angry text messages, emails and letters. (Depending on your financial means, I am happy to talk about a discount or help for free.)
A lot of people struggle to rant. I am here to help. Regardless of who you have to complain to: public authorities, your employer, a friend, … I can help you to phrase an email, a text message or a letter, stating everything you are struggling to say. If you find yourself in a situation where you have the power to rant, without threatening your existence it is a huge privilege, if people actually listen, it’s an even bigger one. Speaking up is hard, but it’s a way to change things, so if you safely can, I am more than happy to help you find the right words. (I am only writing complaints that align with my ethical and moral beliefs.)
Why am I qualified?
It would make me rather uncomfortable to publish my large essay and rant collection, because I am trying to stay positive. However, if you find yourself hating your gentrifying neighbour, who tells you to turn down moderately loud music at 10pm after she just started her first job, just know you are not alone. She doesn’t have to live in a city and could totally move to suburbia!
If you find yourself confronted with German bureaucracy for the first time, just know you are not alone. There is no logic to why you have to buy monthly train tickets in person, at a physical location, if you want to buy them after the 20th of the previous month and for the upcoming one. There is also no logic behind why you have to bring proof of residency, if you buy them in person which you do not have to provide if you buy them online or why Berlin train people only want to sell train tickets to residents. So if you find yourself hating German bureaucracy, just know that clichés are sometimes true. And if you like me, find yourself only annoyed and not threatened, remember that you're lucky.
Imprint
Provider:
Yara Weiss
Flughafenst. 52
12053 Berlin
Contact:
Email: shout (at) yara.cool
Website: yara.cool
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